You probably know this feeling too: you finish your load of laundry, you make neat piles trying to avoid the "Leaning Tower of Pisa" look, you put everything away, and then… (dark) magic… there are STILL clothes in the basket!!! Seriously, is there a leprechaun who drops by and stain t-shirts just to annoy me?
Dishes = same struggle. You think to yourself, "Yay, I'm done! The counter is empty, it's sparkling, I'm the queen/king of the kitchen." But nope. Two hours (minutes...) later, there's already an abandoned coffee cup and a plate full of toast crumbs.
Your sense of accomplishment? Bye-bye. Vanished faster than a sip of flat Coke.
Why is it (almost) impossible to feel fulfilled with this?
Because these are never-ending tasks. It's not a "finished project" that makes you want to pop the champagne. You'll have to start again tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the day after that.
Your brain, on the other hand, loves closed loops. It gets a kick out of it when you check something off your to-do list and it's DONE. End of story. It feels good. Soooooo good.
But the dishes, the laundry, the cleaning… those are to-dos that are endlessly reborn. Like another (18th) sequel to Frozen. Here's another one with more lives than a cat..!
Outcome: even if you spent an hour scrubbing your bathtub, your brain doesn't get the same high as after a truly finished project. It just tells you: "Congratulations, you've earned... 24 hours of peace. At best."
Not very motivating, is it?
But why is this famous feeling of accomplishment so important?
Because it's not just some silly "instant gratification." Feeling accomplished is mental fuel. It sends your brain the message: "Hey, I can do it! I'm moving forward! I'm managing my life like a champion!"
Without that feeling, you quickly fall into demotivation, into the "why am I even bothering?" mental state. And that drains your energy. You might feel like you're just "lazy" or lack discipline, but the truth is, you're trying to get a buzz of accomplishment in a context where it's practically impossible. (Feel free to prove me wrong, I'm literally asking for it!)
Basically: you're not the problem. The dishes are the problem. (Okay, fine, and maybe the 12 cups of coffee you leave lying around aren't helping much either.)
So, what do we do?
First: breathe, you're not alone in this. Everyone is going through this infernal cycle.
Secondly: find yourself tasks with a real, satisfying "before and after." Whether it's assembling an IKEA shelf, finishing a puzzle, writing a text message (hello 👋) or just that series you started... a while... ago...! Long story short, something that will feed your need for accomplishment according to the good recommendations of Canada's food guide (or not #ChipsForPrez).
Third: Give yourself permission to see recurring tasks differently. If your brain wants a "high," you'll have to create it! Check "dishes" off your list, even if you know you'll check it again tomorrow. Set a timer and congratulate yourself on beating your time record. Or, consider it a favor to your future self (like: "Thanks, Past Me, for not leaving me without a clean plate for lunch tomorrow.").
So in a nutshell, if you're wondering why you never feel like you've "finished"... know that you're not imagining things. It's in the nature of repetitive tasks to be sneaky and motivation killers.
And honestly? Knowing that is already a small accomplishment in itself. 😉
Photo credit: DominiqueVince on Pixabay
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